Brave

Brave: ready to face and endure danger or pain; showing courage.

I hope you live your life bravely.

As I was preparing to photograph the father/child course for Summit Adventure, I was getting excited to come along side and support people doing brave things. Any trip with Summit Adventure has a common thread of pushing people out their comfort zones to grow in relationship with God and other people. On the father/ child course that might look like climbing to the top of a 150 ft rock face or it might look like taking time to have an honest, vulnerable conversation with your dad or child.

On this particular course, it was at one of the rappel sites that I learned about bravery. The second group of the day had made it to the top of the site. One of the participants was nervous about the rappel. It had been a challenge for him face a fear of heights to climb to the top of the site, and now there was a 200 foot rappel waiting for him. As he prepared to rappel, the atmosphere changed. The typical nervous joking of participants died down and there was tension in the air as his anxiety built.

I made my way over to a ledge fifty feet away where I could take photos of the father and son as they rappelled. It was a solemn thing to witness. He was struggling fiercely with fear. He knew what he had to do and no amount of advice or encouragement from anyone was making it easier. It was a slow raw battle to reach the ground.

As I watched, I knew there where areas in my life where I react the same way. I see other people glide down rappels full of trust and even joy and I come to God kicking and screaming and crying, begging if there is any other way.

Currently I live in a small town hours away from family and close friends. I work a steady 9-5 job with a small photography business on the side. I am confident God brought me here. I see Him teaching me things. But it’s hard. I don’t have family to go home to in the evening. I don’t tell stories of watching peoples’ lives being changed like friends working at various non-profits. I don’t travel the world climbing mountains or taking photos like I see other friends doing. Life is that simple but hard cliché of being faithful in the mundane things. It’s not glamorous. It’s a struggle. I fight fears and lies of wasting my life, of not being valuable. There have been many nights of asking God if He has forgotten me, left me hanging on this rappel. He hasn’t. He stays with me through the frustration. He waits out the internal kicking and screaming till I’m finally still enough to listen to His voice and let it overcome my fears.

I don’t know what your rappel is, the thing that unnerves you to your core. But I hope you’re willing to go into the fight with fear and face it. I hope you are willing to keep inching your way down the rope till you reach the ground. I hope you live your life bravely.

“You have listened to fears, child,” said Aslan. “Come, let me breathe on you. Forget them. Are you brave again?” – Prince Caspian, C.S.Lewis

Mono Lake

“There is a cost to beautiful things. Don’t be afraid to pay it.”

“Relying on God has to begin all over again every day as if nothing had yet been done…" -CSLewis

Places like Mono Lake remind me God is good, he's trustworthy, and He's all about the details. You should go one day.

I miss you, Monterey.

Almost two months ago, my friend Kelley and I were camping in Big Sur. Already a few days into a road trip and tired from attempting to hike/ bushwhack our way up Mount Manuel earlier in the day, we decided no more canned soup for dinner. We drove up to Monterey and found a restaurant with a view of the bay and the most amazing garlic butter I've ever had. Seriously, I think I ate at least half a loaf bread drenched in butter.

We wondered down to the beach after dinner. Barefoot with jackets to cut the wind, we watched the surfers make the most of evening. The clouds rolled in over the city. The light took on an ethereal quality that you couldn't pin to a particular time of day.

I miss you, Monterey.

Just so you know...

1. "The mountians are calling, and I must go." Roadtripping to Yosemite tomorrow. #stoked

2. Art in the Alley is happening 3-3-13, Sunday, 12-5pm in the alley next to Augie's Coffee House. I'll be there showing my work along with over thirty other artists. And I'll have stories to tell you about Yosemite. #SupportLocalArtists

3. I could listen to this song all day. In fact, I'm probably going to. That's what roadtrips are for, right?

In the Raw...

January carried goodbyes I didn’t want to say. It brought heavy expectations laid on my shoulders by well meaning people. Hopelessness flirted with my soul, and I entertained it. I didn’t want to talk to God.

Trusting Him seemed like foolishness. His kindnesses were cruel. That’s what I wanted to say. But every time those thoughts made their entrance, “The Lord is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in love.” (Psalm 103:8) replayed itself like a drum loop over and over again. Battle being waged for my soul and I couldn’t decide if I wanted to believe the slander against His character.

I dwell in a lions’ den. The lions are lies. They could tear me apart and eat me alive. But God has shut their mouths. I can choose to be afraid. That would certainly be reasonable to anyone watching. Or I can rest safely while waiting for the light of day.

At the first light of dawn, the king got up and hurried to the lions’ den. When he came near the den, he called to Daniel in an anguished voice, “Daniel, servant of the living God, has your God, whom you serve continually, been able to rescue you from the lions?”

Daniel answered, “May the king live forever! My God sent his angel, and he shut the mouths of the lions. They have not hurt me, because I was found innocent in his sight. Nor have I ever done any wrong before you, Your Majesty.”

The king was overjoyed and gave orders to lift Daniel out of the den. And when Daniel was lifted from the den, no wound was found on him, because he had trusted in his God. ~ Daniel 6:19-23

Change

Change feels like it’s happening everywhere.

I look back, and I’ve grown this year. Not in any way I anticipated. I’ve grown in ways I had long since ruled out as impossibilities. Yet, other things I hoped would happen haven’t, regardless of how hard I try. More growth. It’s the type only pruning provides.

The seasons are turning whether I like it or not. My heart has a desperate need for stability. So grateful I can take cover in the One who is the same yesterday, today, and forever.

Let us know, let us press on to know the LORD;

His going out is as sure as the dawn;

He will come to us as the showers;

as the spring rains that water the earth.

~Hosea 6:3

Consider this my own personal pep talk

"Sun's gonna rise in a mile
In mile you"ll be feeling fine...
You'll be outta the dark
You'll get your shot"

"Perseverance is the hard work you do after you get tired of doing the hard work you already did."

"I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work"
-Thomas Edison

Perseverance? Endurance? Yeah, those are not strengths of mine. For example, I begged my mom for months to teach me how to read, but when we started school I was shocked to find out learning to reading was going to take more than one day. My poor mom had one very frustrated four year old to deal with after that revelation.

For the past couple of months, I've felt stuck in a rut. However, it's been more like I've been sitting in the corner pouting to God saying, "This is hard. I don't like this situation. Make it go away?" I become a drama queen and start quoting Lamentations 3:17-18 to Him when I pray. My soul is bereft of peace; I have forgotten what happiness is is; so I say, "My endurance has perished; so has my hope from the Lord." Then God is all, "There is more to that chapter, woman! You should read it and trust me!"

But this I call to mind, and therefore I have hope:
The steadfast love of Lord never ceases, his mercies never come to an end;
They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.
"The Lord is my portion." says my soul, "therefore I will hope in him."
The Lord is good to those who wait for him, to the soul who seeks him.
Lamentations 3:21-25

I, Katherine, need to take my eyes off myself and look to God. I need to remind myself who God is. He is faithful. When I fail, He is faithful. He remembers I am but dust. He is full of compassion. He is merciful and gracious. Christ stands at the right hand of God interceding for me all day, every day. Nothing in all creation will separate me from His love.*

Here's NOT sitting in the corner pouting, but running the race with endurance, eyes set on Jesus.
Further up and further in.

*see Psalm 103, Romans 8, Hebrews 7

Common Grace

I'm thankful for common graces turned extraordinary

Like

Collies
Coffee
Pajama days
Rainy days and warm blankets
Pumpkin spice candles
White Christmas lights
Music that feeds my soul
Autumn
The way the trees on our street turn red and yellow and orange and purple
Journals
Hosea 2:14 and Psalm 145
Game nights that last till one in the morning
Swing dancing
Friends
Friends that call just because they miss you
Friends that tell you to come to swing dancing even though you don’t know what you’re doing
Surprise visits from friends that live on the other side of the country
Spur of the moment hikes with my brother
The way my Dad understands me
Long morning talks with Mom
The steadfast love God has for me. I can’t understand it.

In Your Presence

The fulness of Your grace is here with me
The richness of Your beauty is all I seek
The brightness of Your glory has arrived
In Your presence, God, I'm completely satisfied

Lift my heart and my hands to show my love ~ Divine Romance, Phil Wickham

Some days (ok, let’s just be real - most days) I can be so very distracted I don’t even realize it. Cares, anxieties, desires surround me before I recognize I’m caught up in them.

I am thankful Jesus steadily whispers His presence in my soul. I’m thankful He’s tuning my ears more and more to His voice. I’m thankful for the way He satisfies me. I’m thankful He makes me rest and restores my soul.

One thing have I asked of the Lord, that I will seek after;
That I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life,
To gaze upon the beauty of the Lord and to inquire in His temple. Ps 27:4

Restless

On the bus somewhere in Suva, Fiji

"Don't look now 'cause I can't escape ~ I get so restless"

Today I want to stuff my backpack with a few necessities and hop a plane to somewhere I’ve never been.

Oh, How He Loves Us

Lake Yellowstone, Yellowstone National Park - Because I miss it.

{Remember a couple of weeks ago? My heart was full, but there were no words yet. They are finally starting to come.}

We love because He first loved us. 1 John 4:19

That verse has been playing back in my head every day for the last week. It’s as if Jesus sat me down and said, “ Look, I KNOW you know in your head I love you. I KNOW you’re striving to love me. But STOP! Wait on Me. Be still. Let ME love you. My love goes beyond the day I took on your sin. It goes beyond the day I conquered death. It’s living and active today, and you need to let Me love you.”

So He started by talking to me about condemnation. (Because He like to mess with my head like that. I’m telling you, He has a sense of humor.)

There is therefore no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of Spirit of life has set you free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death. For God has done what the law, weakened by the flesh, could not do. By sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh and for sin, he condemned sin in the flesh (Rom 8:13)

For by a single offering he has perfected for all time those who are being sanctified. … Therefore, brothers, since we have confidence to enter the holy places by the blood of Jesus, by the new and living way that he opened for us through the curtain, that is, through his flesh, and since we have a great high priest over the house of God, let us draw near with a true heart in full assurance of faith, with our hearts sprinkled clean from an evil conscience and our bodies washed with pure water. (Heb 10:14, 19-22)

Uh, I have been perfected. For all time?! I have been given every right to drawn near to the Holy of Holies with a true heart. He removed every obstacle in the way of me abiding with Him. Yes!

But there’s more! Not only does He WANT me in His presence completely covered by Him. The Father is glorified by this! Remember John 15?

I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart me you can do nothing. … By this my Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit and so prove to be my disciples. (John 15:5,8)

Apart from me you can do nothing. We love because He first loved us. I am completely in God’s hands, and it is a good place to be.

Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good! Blessed is the man that takes refuge in him! … The Lord redeems the life of his servants; none of those who take refuge in him will be condemned. Ps 34:8,22

In Your Light

My heart is so full right now. Photos aren't enough to express it. Words are coming, but they aren't here yet. It's like I can only stare at Jesus and tell Him how good He is. Not a terrible place to be. ;)

Your steadfast love, O Lord, extends to the heavens,

your faithfulness to the clouds.

Your righteousness is like the mountains of God;

your judgements are like the great deep;

man and beast you save, O Lord.

How precious is your steadfast love, O God!

The children of mankind take refuge in the shadow of your wings.

They feast on the abundance of your house,

and you give them drink from the river of your delights.

For with you is the fountain of life;

in your light do we see light.

Psalm 36:5-9

August

{Note: Ok peoples, I promise there are some really awesome portraits and weddings coming to this blog. Please stick around.}


Yeah, this photo really has nothing to do with this post. I just thought it was pretty.

I’ve been listening to Irene by Tobymac all day. “Hey little girl with the pressures of world on your shoulders don’t say that it’s over.” August has been a rough month. I had no idea it was going to be. Honest. It’s been like… like being at the beach and you’re trying to catch a wave. A nice big one comes. You’re excited cuz this is gonna be the best ride of the day. You’re all set to go. BUT you miss it. And not in the innocent “Oh I’ll just duck dive” sort of way. It’s too late for that. You get pummeled. Knocked around so much you can’t tell which way is up. That wave finally has the decency to spit you up on the shore. You gasp for breathe. Try to cough out that burning salt water taste stuck in your throat. Then, if you’re like me, alternate between terrified and TICKED OFF that just happened. August has been like that. Over and over again.

Definitely not end of the world stuff. The cliché “storms of life” stuff sounds too dramatic. Just wave after wave. Being knocked down, and coming up to see another mound of water. Oh great, AGAIN!?

I’ve been learning though. Or maybe re-learning is a better term. God is my refuge. He is my defense. He is my bread and water. And you just don’t go out by yourself, and tell the Creator, “It’s fine. I’ve got this.” You don’t do that. Ever.

Irene I carried you when you was too weak to walk
I took to you when you gave your heart to God
Faithful and true, that's what I'll always be to you…
I knew you before creation
Your foundation's solid
I will give you a palace, restore your soul
You'll be up for any challenge
Many storms are on the way better sharpen your faith
Count the cost, take up your cross
And wear it every day
Rest in Me and I will give you strength
Blessed is she, Irene who seeks my face
~Irene, TobyMac

Things I Love

(1) Pinterest and Design Seeds. Both of them are my new favorite addicting online inspiration places.

(2) Philosophy’s Unconditional Love fragrance. They describe it as a “soulful, sweetly warm scent”. I don’t know exactly what that means, but it smells delightful.

(3) KELLEY is coming today! I haven’t seen her in ages. And she’s going to help me photograph a wedding this weekend. It’s all very happy.

(4) And I’m just kinda in love with the Sierra Nevada.

The Sawtooth Range. Gorgeous, right?

Independence Day

(I meant to post this yesterday, but I got caught up in all the celebrating. Hope your 4th was wonderful!)

 

Old Faithful Inn, Yellowstone National Park, WY

The Declaration of Independence

When in the Course of human events it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.


We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. — That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, — That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security.
...

We, therefore, the Representatives of the united States of America, in General Congress, Assembled, appealing to the Supreme Judge of the world for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the Name, and by Authority of the good People of these Colonies, solemnly publish and declare, That these united Colonies are, and of Right ought to be Free and Independent States, that they are Absolved from all Allegiance to the British Crown, and that all political connection between them and the State of Great Britain, is and ought to be totally dissolved; and that as Free and Independent States, they have full Power to levy War, conclude Peace, contract Alliances, establish Commerce, and to do all other Acts and Things which Independent States may of right do. — And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of Divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes, and our sacred Honor.

Brotha & Sista


I like him. Even if he can't smile for the camera.

Oh and P.S. Finding texts from friends after finally turning off my phone alarm (the unlocking thing confuses me everytime) is a very happy thing. It could almost make me a morning person. Almost.

Happy Mother's Day

Love you, Mom!

Yesterday

So yesterday… I had forgotten some things. Important things.

Like how much I love exploring.
Like the fact people actually live in Whitewater. Let alone, people who build log cabins that fly both the American and Canadian flag.
Like how gorgeous that canyon is in the spring time.
Like pumas exist. I didn’t actually see one, but I saw a warning sign about them. I thought that was pretty exciting.

And mostly, I had forgotten that God loves me… a lot. And that He understands me. Go read Psalm 103. Right now. Seriously. Then read this.





Happy Thursday!

Books

Hi world! Do you remember me?

I’ve been reading a ton lately. The visioneering mentorship keeps me busy with The Fast Track Photographers and Outliers. I’m taking my Wilderness First Responder recert in less than a month(!!!!!), so I spend a fair amount of time trying to memorize the signs and symptoms of shock and pulmonary edema and other lovely things. Then if I have spare time I read O Jerusalem! I love that book. It’s about the birth of Israel as a nation, and it’s written in a novel style.

The other night that mix of reading lead to a crazy dream. I dreamed I was a photojournalist on a convoy to Israel, and we were under attack. At one point, I had to do CPR on a soldier with a laryngectomy. Who dreams that stuff up? People who read about CPR right before going to bed, that’s who.

So have you been reading any good books lately?

Etcetera & Monday Music

Hello! I’ve been absent, and I’ve missed you. I started a mentorship program last week. It’s going to stretch me both personally and help me put feet to the idea of running photography business. Cool, huh?

I spent the better part of the day in a coffee shop reading, writing, thinking, smelling the delicious coffee fumes. My friend Marissa stopped by and we talked about photography, good books, and God. It’s ok. You can be jealous of my Monday.

Have you heard of Katie Herzig? I heard about her a couple of years ago, but rediscovered how much I love her music over the weekend. I think this song is my current favorite, but I like most all of them. So you should check it out for yourself.



P.S. I got flowers for my birthday. Aren't they pretty?